Hey Kier. Finished reading your whole series. Appreciate it very much.
I kid you not, i started reading omw to therapy where i have been dealing with my very big fear of being thought of as a right winged person because of my rebel against this puritanical left culture. I felt very relieved when reading you.
I still have a lot to figure out. For instance, at this time i feel very defensive and upset at this culture. I feel very angry at what another commenter called emotional blackmailing. I really feel offended by such tactic and keep score of all the times someone who deemed themselves the police of the left, through moral fallacies, put me in a position of moral inferiority. I fear i become an anti woke crusader 🥺😔
I will keep on processing your pieces and what i feel and think, but in the meanwhile tfs 🫰🏼
Oh and some context! I am reading you from chile, i work in the government of a young leftist president, so these complex subjectivities really have taken hold of my mind.
I'm so glad you found this essay series, and that it's been helpful for you. It can be crazymaking the way leftists deny any of this is happening, even at the same time people are living in fear of one misstep permanently destroying their reputation. And then people wonder why they're feeling so anxious and depressed, as if living like this is normal.
I've got some advice for you, as someone who got out of this mindset a couple of years before you—feel free to take what's useful and leave the rest.
First of all, as much as SJWs pretend that they are the only true leftists, nothing could be further from the truth. After publishing these series, I heard from so many people who are still dedicated to the economic programs of the left, but can no longer stand these weird puritanical social norms. There are a number of articles, books, podcasts and so on that can open up a new way of being on the left for you, and this list is a good place to start: https://open.substack.com/pub/kier/p/014?r=lqxm2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
That being said, if you were anything like me, you've avoided reading or watching "problematic" thinkers for a long time. So I would encourage you to put aside your worry about becoming an anti-woke crusader for the time being, and read and watch as widely as you can. Nothing is off-limits for you anymore, and limiting your media did not keep you pure and loyal anyway, because you're here ;) it's the SJW mindset that if you read a conservative, you'll suddenly become one, but changing our minds is a much more complex process than that. So I'd encourage you to take everything in, and trust your mind and your heart to discern what you'll take with you.
I think most people in the process of leaving are angry and regretful, and I think the people who become anti-woke crusaders get stuck in that place and never leave. They go from moralizing in one direction to moralizing in the opposite direction. But there are many other possibilities available to you: perhaps you find class-first leftism, which focuses on universal programs, to be the most compelling. Perhaps you find that taking politics less personally, and developing a healthy analytical distance, allows you to work within the system without feeling so horrible all the time. Perhaps you find that holding the leftist identity more loosely is all you need to do in order to experience less friction and animosity with political opponents. Whatever your path is, I do not believe you'll become an anti-woke crusader unless you choose to wallow endlessly in your anger and resentment. You're totally entitled to spend some time with those feelings, and to take in media that feels cathartic. For example, I've enjoyed some woke cringe content because it's making fun of dynamics that really hurt me. But I do not find that those channels have any meaningful political analysis, so they are more or less junk food to me.
Apart from the list of resources above, I'd also suggest checking out the Theory Underground YouTube channel & podcast if you're looking for a project that dives deep into political philosophy without the leftist dogmatism. I have a feeling that you may find their stuff refreshing, as I have. Here's a talk I gave recently at their conference: https://www.youtube.com/live/eoywZVUmzIU?si=cxIW06ass4UDuCxj&t=17240
Anyway, I hope some of this may be helpful as you navigate your way out of this stuff. One of the main things I lacked when I was an SJW was the belief in myself that I was a good person. I was so suspicious of everyone around me being a Bad Person that I cast that suspicion on myself, too. Once you start extending more grace and earnest curiosity to those around you, you will be able to give yourself that as well. Believing in my goodness has been transformational, because I am so much more free. I know that watching a video by some right-wing reactionary isn't going to suddenly make me racist, for example, and that understanding right-wing reactionaries is actually really important if I want to help transform and grow the left into something that attracts everyday people, rather than miserable wannabe dictators, you know? I hear a lot of heart in what you've written in this comment, and I hope you can hear that in yourself, too, so that you can grant yourself the freedom of thought and speech that social justice has quelled in you.
Wishing you the best, Magdalena, and I'd love to hear from again once you're further along in this huge shift you're undergoing.
Dear Kier: thank you very much for your thoughtful and kind response 🫰🏼i appreciate all the advice and resources (checked several of them already!), specially trusting my mind and heart.
I find it so interesting how you linked this tribulations with questioning one's own morality. For me too, they have been very intertwined issues, and my questioning of this left puritanism actually followed the questioning of whether i was a good person or not. I loved the insight of how this turn allowed you to believe in your own goodness.
I hope your thoughtful and humble ideas are heard wherever you are. Know that reading them has been very important for this random 31 yo woman living in Chile. Its crazy to think in such different political contexts we can share experiences!
Anyways, i have suscribed so will be keeping in touch with your content. From my corner of the world to yours, hoping dearly for a Harris triumph on the fifth, a democratic turn of events and reconciliation for your country.
I realize it doesn't say so on my about page, but I'm actually Canadian. We just re-elected the social Democratic Party in my province, British Columbia, by the skin of our teeth! It made me glad I volunteered to drive NDP voters to the polls on election day.
How cool that the internet has allowed us to connect from so far away ;)
Just heard of you from Katie Herzog - really love this blog and your tone. While I was never fully enmeshed in social justice culture, I became very aware of my own impulses to become a left-wing thoughtpolice following George Floyd’s murder and slowly started to pull myself back and critically assess my unquestioning devotion to ideas that lacked coherence. My forays were short-lived, but I was left with an incredible curiosity of the ideologies and groupthink behaviors of social justice culture, so I’ve lurked on the pages of people like Clementine Morrigan and Molly Frances, and recently have been enjoying Jesse Singal and Katie Herzog for their humor around all of this. Unpleasantly, I lurked on the other side for a time, listening to the rhetoric of some of the so-called vanguard against wokeness (namely Blaire White and Amala Ekpunobi) and found some of their excesses to be as toxic and demoralizing as their opposition, particularly in the snarky delivery and propensity to “react” to the most ridiculous and sensationalistic examples. I feel that their intellect is being wasted on outrage-mongering and cheap content creation - being anti-woke crusaders, as you mention here. There’s so much more to life than being got in the culture wars, and so many better places to put our energies than in this endless fight that no one will ever win. Anyway, thank you for your writing. I look forward to reading more.
Hey Maren—thanks for the thoughtful comment! I remember grappling with the title of this post because I didn't want to associate myself with the segment of the population that consider wokeness to be a dangerous & malevolent force that is coming for your children. That's the stuff of conspiracy theories. It really shows how much black and white thinking is out there, and it's interesting trying to carve a third path and inadvertently inviting scorn from both sides. But there's certainly a hunger for non-inflammatory, good faith engagement on sensitive topics, and the interesting and thoughtful people I've connected with through writing this newsletter makes it all worth it!
Really great blog, expresses many things I’ve been thinking for quite some time. I also greatly enjoyed the conversation you had on the F**king Cancelled website. For a while now, I’ve considered myself ‘outsider left’ because I’ve been fed up with how joyless and puritanical so many left wing spaces have become. Also I like to think issues through for myself and not get bullied/emotionally blackmailed into drawing the ‘correct conclusion.’ For a while, I too worried that I was ‘going right’ but after listening to Conservative arguments and seeing so many right-wing pundits act dishonestly in the so-called culture wars, I realised that this fear was groundless. My values are unchanged. Additionally, conservativism has wrecked the UK, especially post-Brexit. So I personally think that I’d be very foolish to hook my wagon to that particular horse!
I relate to the process you went through and I'm glad we've both managed to separate leftist policy goals from the social norms that are turning so many away. I think a lot of people have realized that treating each other so poorly is no way to build successful social movements, and I hope those people will stick around so we can build something different!
Thanks for replying. Yes, it's important to have alternatives to the right-wing critics of 'woke' stuff. Also for people on the left who never really identified with identitarian politics in the first place.
You've really got a very clear-thinking head on your shoulders, having come out the other side, and to have that kind of clarity for a vision of your own happiness, health, self-worth and effectiveness in the world is impressive. In your newfound optimism, I wholeheartedly agree about your admonition of the role of "Anti-woke crusader"—that road is equally false, and it has consumed some good minds who have been corrupted by what began as a legitimate rebellion against the accepted narrative of the "Religious Left", as I have now taken to thinking about them.
And I'm glad that you now get to write your book. Everything I read so far (I linked from a mention by Andrew Sullivan) is very well written and I wish you success with it. All the best.
OK, all the other articles on Toxic Social Justice Culture and what to do (and avoid) after can go home now. This is the best & only one from now on ;-) No but really. It truly covers everything. I now have whiplash from nodding along so hard.
I love the fact that you are now choosing to live authentically. Trying to live up to the expectations of others while hiding your true self seems like a recipe for disconnection at the deepest level. What a lonely life that would be. Congratulations on the breakthroughs you have made and may you make many more!!
Fantastic. I agree with everything you've said, but this really struck home:
"I’ve decided it’s better to do something imperfectly than not at all, which is why this newsletter exists!"
Human beings are not wizards, and we control very little. However, we can *try* to do the right thing. If we mess up, we can try again, and again, and hopefully do a little bit better each time. Expecting to get everything right the first time not only unrealistic, it's oppressive and unhelpful. Better to try to get it right and fail than to simply shrug and go shopping.
Hey Kier. Finished reading your whole series. Appreciate it very much.
I kid you not, i started reading omw to therapy where i have been dealing with my very big fear of being thought of as a right winged person because of my rebel against this puritanical left culture. I felt very relieved when reading you.
I still have a lot to figure out. For instance, at this time i feel very defensive and upset at this culture. I feel very angry at what another commenter called emotional blackmailing. I really feel offended by such tactic and keep score of all the times someone who deemed themselves the police of the left, through moral fallacies, put me in a position of moral inferiority. I fear i become an anti woke crusader 🥺😔
I will keep on processing your pieces and what i feel and think, but in the meanwhile tfs 🫰🏼
Oh and some context! I am reading you from chile, i work in the government of a young leftist president, so these complex subjectivities really have taken hold of my mind.
Hi Magdalena;
I'm so glad you found this essay series, and that it's been helpful for you. It can be crazymaking the way leftists deny any of this is happening, even at the same time people are living in fear of one misstep permanently destroying their reputation. And then people wonder why they're feeling so anxious and depressed, as if living like this is normal.
I've got some advice for you, as someone who got out of this mindset a couple of years before you—feel free to take what's useful and leave the rest.
First of all, as much as SJWs pretend that they are the only true leftists, nothing could be further from the truth. After publishing these series, I heard from so many people who are still dedicated to the economic programs of the left, but can no longer stand these weird puritanical social norms. There are a number of articles, books, podcasts and so on that can open up a new way of being on the left for you, and this list is a good place to start: https://open.substack.com/pub/kier/p/014?r=lqxm2&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
That being said, if you were anything like me, you've avoided reading or watching "problematic" thinkers for a long time. So I would encourage you to put aside your worry about becoming an anti-woke crusader for the time being, and read and watch as widely as you can. Nothing is off-limits for you anymore, and limiting your media did not keep you pure and loyal anyway, because you're here ;) it's the SJW mindset that if you read a conservative, you'll suddenly become one, but changing our minds is a much more complex process than that. So I'd encourage you to take everything in, and trust your mind and your heart to discern what you'll take with you.
I think most people in the process of leaving are angry and regretful, and I think the people who become anti-woke crusaders get stuck in that place and never leave. They go from moralizing in one direction to moralizing in the opposite direction. But there are many other possibilities available to you: perhaps you find class-first leftism, which focuses on universal programs, to be the most compelling. Perhaps you find that taking politics less personally, and developing a healthy analytical distance, allows you to work within the system without feeling so horrible all the time. Perhaps you find that holding the leftist identity more loosely is all you need to do in order to experience less friction and animosity with political opponents. Whatever your path is, I do not believe you'll become an anti-woke crusader unless you choose to wallow endlessly in your anger and resentment. You're totally entitled to spend some time with those feelings, and to take in media that feels cathartic. For example, I've enjoyed some woke cringe content because it's making fun of dynamics that really hurt me. But I do not find that those channels have any meaningful political analysis, so they are more or less junk food to me.
Apart from the list of resources above, I'd also suggest checking out the Theory Underground YouTube channel & podcast if you're looking for a project that dives deep into political philosophy without the leftist dogmatism. I have a feeling that you may find their stuff refreshing, as I have. Here's a talk I gave recently at their conference: https://www.youtube.com/live/eoywZVUmzIU?si=cxIW06ass4UDuCxj&t=17240
Anyway, I hope some of this may be helpful as you navigate your way out of this stuff. One of the main things I lacked when I was an SJW was the belief in myself that I was a good person. I was so suspicious of everyone around me being a Bad Person that I cast that suspicion on myself, too. Once you start extending more grace and earnest curiosity to those around you, you will be able to give yourself that as well. Believing in my goodness has been transformational, because I am so much more free. I know that watching a video by some right-wing reactionary isn't going to suddenly make me racist, for example, and that understanding right-wing reactionaries is actually really important if I want to help transform and grow the left into something that attracts everyday people, rather than miserable wannabe dictators, you know? I hear a lot of heart in what you've written in this comment, and I hope you can hear that in yourself, too, so that you can grant yourself the freedom of thought and speech that social justice has quelled in you.
Wishing you the best, Magdalena, and I'd love to hear from again once you're further along in this huge shift you're undergoing.
Dear Kier: thank you very much for your thoughtful and kind response 🫰🏼i appreciate all the advice and resources (checked several of them already!), specially trusting my mind and heart.
I find it so interesting how you linked this tribulations with questioning one's own morality. For me too, they have been very intertwined issues, and my questioning of this left puritanism actually followed the questioning of whether i was a good person or not. I loved the insight of how this turn allowed you to believe in your own goodness.
I hope your thoughtful and humble ideas are heard wherever you are. Know that reading them has been very important for this random 31 yo woman living in Chile. Its crazy to think in such different political contexts we can share experiences!
Anyways, i have suscribed so will be keeping in touch with your content. From my corner of the world to yours, hoping dearly for a Harris triumph on the fifth, a democratic turn of events and reconciliation for your country.
Regards 🫰🏼
Thank you so much, Magdalena!
I realize it doesn't say so on my about page, but I'm actually Canadian. We just re-elected the social Democratic Party in my province, British Columbia, by the skin of our teeth! It made me glad I volunteered to drive NDP voters to the polls on election day.
How cool that the internet has allowed us to connect from so far away ;)
Just heard of you from Katie Herzog - really love this blog and your tone. While I was never fully enmeshed in social justice culture, I became very aware of my own impulses to become a left-wing thoughtpolice following George Floyd’s murder and slowly started to pull myself back and critically assess my unquestioning devotion to ideas that lacked coherence. My forays were short-lived, but I was left with an incredible curiosity of the ideologies and groupthink behaviors of social justice culture, so I’ve lurked on the pages of people like Clementine Morrigan and Molly Frances, and recently have been enjoying Jesse Singal and Katie Herzog for their humor around all of this. Unpleasantly, I lurked on the other side for a time, listening to the rhetoric of some of the so-called vanguard against wokeness (namely Blaire White and Amala Ekpunobi) and found some of their excesses to be as toxic and demoralizing as their opposition, particularly in the snarky delivery and propensity to “react” to the most ridiculous and sensationalistic examples. I feel that their intellect is being wasted on outrage-mongering and cheap content creation - being anti-woke crusaders, as you mention here. There’s so much more to life than being got in the culture wars, and so many better places to put our energies than in this endless fight that no one will ever win. Anyway, thank you for your writing. I look forward to reading more.
Hey Maren—thanks for the thoughtful comment! I remember grappling with the title of this post because I didn't want to associate myself with the segment of the population that consider wokeness to be a dangerous & malevolent force that is coming for your children. That's the stuff of conspiracy theories. It really shows how much black and white thinking is out there, and it's interesting trying to carve a third path and inadvertently inviting scorn from both sides. But there's certainly a hunger for non-inflammatory, good faith engagement on sensitive topics, and the interesting and thoughtful people I've connected with through writing this newsletter makes it all worth it!
Hi Kier —
Really great blog, expresses many things I’ve been thinking for quite some time. I also greatly enjoyed the conversation you had on the F**king Cancelled website. For a while now, I’ve considered myself ‘outsider left’ because I’ve been fed up with how joyless and puritanical so many left wing spaces have become. Also I like to think issues through for myself and not get bullied/emotionally blackmailed into drawing the ‘correct conclusion.’ For a while, I too worried that I was ‘going right’ but after listening to Conservative arguments and seeing so many right-wing pundits act dishonestly in the so-called culture wars, I realised that this fear was groundless. My values are unchanged. Additionally, conservativism has wrecked the UK, especially post-Brexit. So I personally think that I’d be very foolish to hook my wagon to that particular horse!
Hey Matt—
I relate to the process you went through and I'm glad we've both managed to separate leftist policy goals from the social norms that are turning so many away. I think a lot of people have realized that treating each other so poorly is no way to build successful social movements, and I hope those people will stick around so we can build something different!
Hi Kier --
Thanks for replying. Yes, it's important to have alternatives to the right-wing critics of 'woke' stuff. Also for people on the left who never really identified with identitarian politics in the first place.
You've really got a very clear-thinking head on your shoulders, having come out the other side, and to have that kind of clarity for a vision of your own happiness, health, self-worth and effectiveness in the world is impressive. In your newfound optimism, I wholeheartedly agree about your admonition of the role of "Anti-woke crusader"—that road is equally false, and it has consumed some good minds who have been corrupted by what began as a legitimate rebellion against the accepted narrative of the "Religious Left", as I have now taken to thinking about them.
And I'm glad that you now get to write your book. Everything I read so far (I linked from a mention by Andrew Sullivan) is very well written and I wish you success with it. All the best.
This series is brilliant writing!
As the classic film said: "Peace be da journey".
Great series! Have you checked out Pinker? Excellent historical context.
My brother was just telling me about one of Pinker’s books—I’ll check him out.
Start with "The Better Angels of Our Nature". Oh gosh—"Blank Slate" is also a good one.
I loved the series and thank you 🧡
Glad to hear it :)
OK, all the other articles on Toxic Social Justice Culture and what to do (and avoid) after can go home now. This is the best & only one from now on ;-) No but really. It truly covers everything. I now have whiplash from nodding along so hard.
Oh gosh, what a generous thing to say! Thank you so much.
I love the fact that you are now choosing to live authentically. Trying to live up to the expectations of others while hiding your true self seems like a recipe for disconnection at the deepest level. What a lonely life that would be. Congratulations on the breakthroughs you have made and may you make many more!!
Thank you!
Fantastic. I agree with everything you've said, but this really struck home:
"I’ve decided it’s better to do something imperfectly than not at all, which is why this newsletter exists!"
Human beings are not wizards, and we control very little. However, we can *try* to do the right thing. If we mess up, we can try again, and again, and hopefully do a little bit better each time. Expecting to get everything right the first time not only unrealistic, it's oppressive and unhelpful. Better to try to get it right and fail than to simply shrug and go shopping.
Well said!