Since I left the social justice subculture my life has gotten so much more enjoyable!
My baseline anxiety is down by like 85%.
I feel more confident.
I'm gentler with myself.
I laugh more.
I'm better at asserting my boundaries.
I'm writing articles and sharing thoughts that I had never allowed myself to explore before (speaking of which, here's a link to my substack if anyone's interested in checking it out: https://florahibbs.substack.com/)
I've started actively working towards pursuing my life goals.
I have a hard time taking myself very seriously, so I was never a great fit for social justice culture. However, since moving away from that culture, I can see I have become a kinder and more insightful person, less inclined to grandstand on any moral topic, and more inclined to forgive the failings of others.
What I always say to others caught up in that culture of endless, internecine warfare is that if you claim to wear the white hat you have to act like you deserve it. This rarely works, but I say it anyway.
I’ve never really been involved in this subculture or organizing. What caused me to steer clear was, at its core, a lack of time. I came of age at a time and place (early 2000s, Olympia WA) where the shit job prospects provided me with a unique perspective: I was working full time at McDonald’s while going to school full time at The Evergreen State College (known for its social and environmental activism). I was routinely dismissed by my peers for my wage work, and took on a certain working class pride. But if I’m being completely honest, the main reason I was working full time was to keep my own apartment (not live with my parents), so that I could smoke weed. Working, in class, stoned for all of it, I was way too tired and cranky to get involved in anything else. For what it’s worth!
I was never part of social justice culture, as much as I believe in the concept of social justice. I’m an introvert who was born well before this culture sprung up. My experiences with people in SJC have largely been negative. Being around it, I found myself being labelled in ways which reduced the richness of my humanity and life experience into something small and trivial and unrecognizable. I experienced an atmosphere of contempt and suspicion which led me to silence myself and shut down. I simply didn’t enjoy being in this type of environment and I didn’t feel welcome in it either. It was clear that there was no space for “someone like me”.
I asked myself: Do these SJ people really think they are creating change in the world? In my opinion they were creating change, but it was not the change they were hoping for. It was change in the direction of disconnection from others who didn’t “tow the line” and weren’t considered “pure enough of heart”, whatever that meant. It was change in the direction of violence, in my opinion.
The question about how to reengage with activism is a good one. As an introvert, I have always preferred to “be the change” I want to see in the world rather than be part of a group pushing change. That’s my comfort zone and I can understand that other people might see it as a cop out.
When I am being my authentic self, I do seem to find other people who share my values. We don’t form an exclusive in-group that repels others. Rather, we uphold and support one another, which is empowering. It’s my honest belief that the way we live our lives is what we offer the world. There’s no need to proselytize or cajole or call anyone out.
The phrase “be the change you want to see in the world ” comes to mind. I know this approach will not satisfy everyone and may be seen as a cop out, but it’s where I’ve landed. So the starting point is working on myself. I want more peace in the world? I find a way to increase inner peace. I want less sexism in the world? I treat all genders with respect. Etc., etc.
I do spend time studying history, which may help me keep things in perspective, plus I’m old enough to have experienced life in many decades. That’s how I know that there has always been change. Opinions I had as a young person might have been considered marginal in the day, but are mainstream opinions now. I’m humble enough to realize that opinions I have now might be considered problematic in the future. Staying open and continuing to question “the orthodoxy” seems like a great way to move forward. As an individual and as a society.
With looming crises like climate change accelerating, I think we need a lot of solidarity going forward. Finding ways to build that solidarity seems to me like the first order of business. I don’t see SJC as being capable of helping in that project, sadly. From what I’ve seen, SJC is actually quite destructive to building solidarity on the left. So I’m heartened to see that paradigm being questioned by people.
Sending warmth and gratitude to the writers on here with their excellent offerings.
I view people by their behavior before I view their identity. Before it was race gender and sexuality first. I have more friends, and I’m okay with those friends being different than me. I’m less angry. I consider conservative viewpoints respectfully even if I don’t agree, instead of just mocking them. I’m actually exposed to more diversity. I’m less hard on myself. And I’m not afraid to have my own opinion. I’m a better person and do more for the community in general through addiction recovery service work. I also value personal responsibility and individuality more.
Hey everyone! Thank you, Kier for including me in this thread! I have recently begun writing about social justice orthodoxy (SJO), and you can find all of my articles on my Substack here.
So much has changed for me since divesting from SJO. I got involved in it through "queer culture". I was on Tumblr as a teenager and then went on the study Queer Theory in college, which fucked me up big time. I went through a lot of gender turmoil before realizing I am literally just a lesbian. I've written about that on my Substack as well (some of my more controversial work). I was also abandoned by my "social justice"-oriented therapist for questioning the orthodoxy, which was one of my huge wake up moments, and which I have written about as well.
Here's what has changed for me since divesting:
-I consider myself politically centrist, and am comfortable engaging with ideas from all over the political spectrum
-I am a lot more forgiving of myself and others
-I have a stronger sense of self and am less affected by the opinions of others
-My ideas are formed through critical thought (not obedience) and I am always open to changing them if new information arises
-I laugh more and enjoy comedy more
-I am more open with the people in my life and as a result my relationships have become healthier and more open
-I am more able to see through a lot of the hypocrisy on the political left
-My creativity is unblocked and I am writing more
-I feel better about myself in general and more confident
-I feel more hopeful about the future (mine and the collective's)
-My world makes more sense and I experience less cognitive dissonance
On a more negative note, though, I am aware there are certain spaces where I cannot be honest about my views for fear of cancellation and punishment. And I do experience more anger (which, though could be considered healthy. Back in the SJO days I was so repressed I thought I didn't experience anger at all). The anger I deal with now is specific to leftist hypocrisy. It really REALLY bothers me when the very people who claim to be fore justice and inclusion are acting in unjust, unethical, and exclusionary ways. That stuff really gets me, but I try to learn from the triggers and let them help me grow.
Peace and love to everyone finding their place in the world outside of domineering orthodoxies! You are all brave AF.
I’ve written a bit about it as social justice subculture pertained to my profession of social work, the movements I joined through my work, and the groups I self-selected into. The silliest thing for me is that, unlike what you expressed,kier, I personally am not politically involved at this moment in time, and I really haven’t been since early 2020. So I have the experience of being not involved in real left organizing or activism, but just being in the subculture online and in my relationships. Id be willing to bet this is true to most people in SJ subculture-not actually organizing, but aligning oneself with movements by voluntarily experiencing the misery and inflicting it on others.
This made me ask myself: so then what do I mean I “left” SJ orthodoxy? Well, I started by being more honest and expressing less platitudes. Honestly mostly I stopped resharing on Instagram stories. I spoke more to my own experiences and stopped reciting scripts. For the past several months about half my communication was in Spanish, which is not my first language, so that made me more mindful of the language I was actually using and gave me the freedom to really CHOOSE my words instead of doing what I always have. It’s made my interactions and connections feel more authentic.
There are bad parts about disconnecting from the orthodoxy. I look around at some of the activism happening and I am much more willing and able to form the opinion that it’s useless and performative at best and destructive at worst. It makes me feel sad and disconnected from really close friends sometimes and I feel alone with the hopelessness it brings. I’ve expressed to friends (thru IG stories like a coward lol) that I love them and don’t look down on them for being engaged in SJ subculture, and I ask for the same trust and grace. For the most part, I feel like it’s worked and love has persevered (so far). Maybe I’m being talked about behind my back. But I can’t go back to letting my fear and shame dictate my actions and become a moral code. Sorry if my grammar is absolutely terrible, I’m in public and on my phone! Thanks for inviting us to share, Kier! Great to hear your thoughts.
I’ve never really been *in* any sj subculture, more so just an outside observer. For me, learning how to teach trauma-sensitive yoga (a great practice in the right context) was my initiation into self-censorship and whatnot. (Just wrote about this, can read my last newsletter if anyone wants).
For better or worse, I’ve always felt like kind of an outsider of every kind of subculture. Even the ones I’ve “wanted” to be a part of, I routinely find myself eventually disillusioned by. The biggest one for me to really disconnect from, though, was “wellness” or “manifestation” culture — I’ve had to unlearn a lot of that kind of rigidity. I especially worked to stop treating every thought or behavior I had like a “problem to be deconstructed.” (Really related to your chocolate bar anecdote, Kier)
I’ve learned a lot about how to spot dogma in my own thinking and that of others — definitely a muscle that gets stronger the more you practice. Staying curious, consciously thinking critically, and determining what my values are has helped me stay grounded in myself when choosing who/what to engage with. I feel so much more in tune with my own intuition…pretty beautiful how that seems to be a pattern for a lot of people.
Feb 17, 2023·edited Feb 17, 2023Liked by Kier Adrian Gray
I'm not even sure how to discern if I'm fully left it? I guess that might be a good question for myself and I'm curious for others. How do you've noticed whether or not you've left that? Subculture. I certainly notice it's still around me. I notice I'm not nearly as hyper vigilant about the things I say or do (which makes me feel like I must be out of it right?? 😂). I'm able to be so much more authentic in my friends and relationships. I've added old friends and family who I strongly disagree with about things back onto my Facebook and don't feel the inclination to argue with their postings or engage in internet oppositional arguments. I consider myself still surrounded by and maybe even in the cukture, especially since it is SO heavily present in the work that I do (therapy) and I've strives to quit self censoring so much, I've posted things I suspect people might have strong reactions to and I've attempted to let my anxiety just run it's course. I remember that the people who want to maintain contact with me despite disagreements or different views or my criticisms of toxic social Justice culture, that they will continue to engage with me. What would I say to someone who is still mired in in this obsessive rumination and self punishment....I'd probably be curious about it rather than say anything. I'd ask what's working for them about being in it? What purpose it serves in their life? What would it mean to not be in this world of toxic SJ and what would it mean or do to let go of the self punishment...
I've also been able to just show up as me in all my complexities. As someone who is biracial and consistently walking this really stark racial binary in Portland, especially as is race is particularly a sensitive topic, I've felt sooopoo restricted into how I'm suppose to behave and who I'm supposed to have alliance with and like Ada said, soooo many scripts I've been using to inform literally all of my interactions. My personal therapist actually told me recently that she notices how paranoid I've become about being cancelled and how I'm so preemptive in my social interactions and I think part of that is that social Justice subculture had made it impossible to just be a human and make a mistake, or to even be human. In a way I feel like I lost my humanity, and my joy and my ability to just laugh at shit. I was and still am soooo careful, it feels hard to navigate social settings sometimes, but slowly I'm becoming much free-er 😁
I've really enjoyed your work. Big fan. Appreciate it especially as living in Portland, I became sooooo immersed in this and finally out of grad school thanks to people like you, Seerut, Africa, Clementine, Cancelled Counselors Instagram, I've been able to shift away from this world and have felt much more at peace in some ways. Bravery to be authentic is isolating at times so been important to find my people
I've let go of so many scripts, large and small: scripts for what a relationship looks like, scripts for what it means to be a person, scripts for how to work, scripts for what to say, scripts for what to read or think or how to spend my precious god-given time on earth. I started dating men after 20 years identifying as a dyke. I started to recognize and rely more on my own internal cues for joy, play, passion, anger, confusion, boundaries, and ultimately, what the right path forward is for me. I am calmer and more open to just winging it now. I find living in contradiction easier. Life is harder in some ways when you swim out past the breakers of black and white thinking—of dogma—but that's only another way of saying, I'm really actually LIVING!
For myself, I’ve become more relaxed, sillier, easier to get along with and much more curious. I have hobbies and routines that I enjoy (and more on the way: rugmaking TikTok is coming for me.) I feel freer to connect with people and I also trust my gut when it comes to deciding to steer clear of someone, without being unwilling to change my mind. I no longer have a word cop in my head, obsessively reviewing everything that comes out of my mouth. I’ve dealt with awkward misunderstandings and even really serious miscommunications with a very appropriate amount of spiraling out (brief and not extraordinarily cruel).
I am less rigid: I no longer depend on systems—whether esoteric like astrology or therapeutic like attachment styles—to try and categorize my interactions with other humans. Instead, I try to really hear what the heck they’re telling me and ask the questions I need to in order to get to the bottom of things. I’m finding that being overly analytical of myself or others feels too much like surveillance, so I’m letting myself just have feelings and say things and do stuff, and I’m only making connections to my past when that feels absolutely necessary. Did I eat that chocolate bar out of a childhood lack of what-have-you or because I was bored and it tasted good? More and more, the latter option feels true, and such simplicity is a tremendous relief.
It’s not all rainbows—I have fears that I have quietly lost the trust or love of friends who remain in the subculture, or that I may miss out on opportunities by opting out of voluntary self-ID forms or by being honest about my intentions in applications. But the freedom I feel, to express myself as I wish and to bring this out in the people around me, is absolutely priceless and does not leave room for regret.
Since I left the social justice subculture my life has gotten so much more enjoyable!
My baseline anxiety is down by like 85%.
I feel more confident.
I'm gentler with myself.
I laugh more.
I'm better at asserting my boundaries.
I'm writing articles and sharing thoughts that I had never allowed myself to explore before (speaking of which, here's a link to my substack if anyone's interested in checking it out: https://florahibbs.substack.com/)
I've started actively working towards pursuing my life goals.
And I feel hope for the future!
I have a hard time taking myself very seriously, so I was never a great fit for social justice culture. However, since moving away from that culture, I can see I have become a kinder and more insightful person, less inclined to grandstand on any moral topic, and more inclined to forgive the failings of others.
What I always say to others caught up in that culture of endless, internecine warfare is that if you claim to wear the white hat you have to act like you deserve it. This rarely works, but I say it anyway.
I’ve never really been involved in this subculture or organizing. What caused me to steer clear was, at its core, a lack of time. I came of age at a time and place (early 2000s, Olympia WA) where the shit job prospects provided me with a unique perspective: I was working full time at McDonald’s while going to school full time at The Evergreen State College (known for its social and environmental activism). I was routinely dismissed by my peers for my wage work, and took on a certain working class pride. But if I’m being completely honest, the main reason I was working full time was to keep my own apartment (not live with my parents), so that I could smoke weed. Working, in class, stoned for all of it, I was way too tired and cranky to get involved in anything else. For what it’s worth!
I was never part of social justice culture, as much as I believe in the concept of social justice. I’m an introvert who was born well before this culture sprung up. My experiences with people in SJC have largely been negative. Being around it, I found myself being labelled in ways which reduced the richness of my humanity and life experience into something small and trivial and unrecognizable. I experienced an atmosphere of contempt and suspicion which led me to silence myself and shut down. I simply didn’t enjoy being in this type of environment and I didn’t feel welcome in it either. It was clear that there was no space for “someone like me”.
I asked myself: Do these SJ people really think they are creating change in the world? In my opinion they were creating change, but it was not the change they were hoping for. It was change in the direction of disconnection from others who didn’t “tow the line” and weren’t considered “pure enough of heart”, whatever that meant. It was change in the direction of violence, in my opinion.
The question about how to reengage with activism is a good one. As an introvert, I have always preferred to “be the change” I want to see in the world rather than be part of a group pushing change. That’s my comfort zone and I can understand that other people might see it as a cop out.
When I am being my authentic self, I do seem to find other people who share my values. We don’t form an exclusive in-group that repels others. Rather, we uphold and support one another, which is empowering. It’s my honest belief that the way we live our lives is what we offer the world. There’s no need to proselytize or cajole or call anyone out.
The phrase “be the change you want to see in the world ” comes to mind. I know this approach will not satisfy everyone and may be seen as a cop out, but it’s where I’ve landed. So the starting point is working on myself. I want more peace in the world? I find a way to increase inner peace. I want less sexism in the world? I treat all genders with respect. Etc., etc.
I do spend time studying history, which may help me keep things in perspective, plus I’m old enough to have experienced life in many decades. That’s how I know that there has always been change. Opinions I had as a young person might have been considered marginal in the day, but are mainstream opinions now. I’m humble enough to realize that opinions I have now might be considered problematic in the future. Staying open and continuing to question “the orthodoxy” seems like a great way to move forward. As an individual and as a society.
With looming crises like climate change accelerating, I think we need a lot of solidarity going forward. Finding ways to build that solidarity seems to me like the first order of business. I don’t see SJC as being capable of helping in that project, sadly. From what I’ve seen, SJC is actually quite destructive to building solidarity on the left. So I’m heartened to see that paradigm being questioned by people.
Sending warmth and gratitude to the writers on here with their excellent offerings.
I view people by their behavior before I view their identity. Before it was race gender and sexuality first. I have more friends, and I’m okay with those friends being different than me. I’m less angry. I consider conservative viewpoints respectfully even if I don’t agree, instead of just mocking them. I’m actually exposed to more diversity. I’m less hard on myself. And I’m not afraid to have my own opinion. I’m a better person and do more for the community in general through addiction recovery service work. I also value personal responsibility and individuality more.
Hey everyone! Thank you, Kier for including me in this thread! I have recently begun writing about social justice orthodoxy (SJO), and you can find all of my articles on my Substack here.
So much has changed for me since divesting from SJO. I got involved in it through "queer culture". I was on Tumblr as a teenager and then went on the study Queer Theory in college, which fucked me up big time. I went through a lot of gender turmoil before realizing I am literally just a lesbian. I've written about that on my Substack as well (some of my more controversial work). I was also abandoned by my "social justice"-oriented therapist for questioning the orthodoxy, which was one of my huge wake up moments, and which I have written about as well.
Here's what has changed for me since divesting:
-I consider myself politically centrist, and am comfortable engaging with ideas from all over the political spectrum
-I am a lot more forgiving of myself and others
-I have a stronger sense of self and am less affected by the opinions of others
-My ideas are formed through critical thought (not obedience) and I am always open to changing them if new information arises
-I laugh more and enjoy comedy more
-I am more open with the people in my life and as a result my relationships have become healthier and more open
-I am more able to see through a lot of the hypocrisy on the political left
-My creativity is unblocked and I am writing more
-I feel better about myself in general and more confident
-I feel more hopeful about the future (mine and the collective's)
-My world makes more sense and I experience less cognitive dissonance
On a more negative note, though, I am aware there are certain spaces where I cannot be honest about my views for fear of cancellation and punishment. And I do experience more anger (which, though could be considered healthy. Back in the SJO days I was so repressed I thought I didn't experience anger at all). The anger I deal with now is specific to leftist hypocrisy. It really REALLY bothers me when the very people who claim to be fore justice and inclusion are acting in unjust, unethical, and exclusionary ways. That stuff really gets me, but I try to learn from the triggers and let them help me grow.
Peace and love to everyone finding their place in the world outside of domineering orthodoxies! You are all brave AF.
I’ve written a bit about it as social justice subculture pertained to my profession of social work, the movements I joined through my work, and the groups I self-selected into. The silliest thing for me is that, unlike what you expressed,kier, I personally am not politically involved at this moment in time, and I really haven’t been since early 2020. So I have the experience of being not involved in real left organizing or activism, but just being in the subculture online and in my relationships. Id be willing to bet this is true to most people in SJ subculture-not actually organizing, but aligning oneself with movements by voluntarily experiencing the misery and inflicting it on others.
This made me ask myself: so then what do I mean I “left” SJ orthodoxy? Well, I started by being more honest and expressing less platitudes. Honestly mostly I stopped resharing on Instagram stories. I spoke more to my own experiences and stopped reciting scripts. For the past several months about half my communication was in Spanish, which is not my first language, so that made me more mindful of the language I was actually using and gave me the freedom to really CHOOSE my words instead of doing what I always have. It’s made my interactions and connections feel more authentic.
There are bad parts about disconnecting from the orthodoxy. I look around at some of the activism happening and I am much more willing and able to form the opinion that it’s useless and performative at best and destructive at worst. It makes me feel sad and disconnected from really close friends sometimes and I feel alone with the hopelessness it brings. I’ve expressed to friends (thru IG stories like a coward lol) that I love them and don’t look down on them for being engaged in SJ subculture, and I ask for the same trust and grace. For the most part, I feel like it’s worked and love has persevered (so far). Maybe I’m being talked about behind my back. But I can’t go back to letting my fear and shame dictate my actions and become a moral code. Sorry if my grammar is absolutely terrible, I’m in public and on my phone! Thanks for inviting us to share, Kier! Great to hear your thoughts.
I’ve never really been *in* any sj subculture, more so just an outside observer. For me, learning how to teach trauma-sensitive yoga (a great practice in the right context) was my initiation into self-censorship and whatnot. (Just wrote about this, can read my last newsletter if anyone wants).
For better or worse, I’ve always felt like kind of an outsider of every kind of subculture. Even the ones I’ve “wanted” to be a part of, I routinely find myself eventually disillusioned by. The biggest one for me to really disconnect from, though, was “wellness” or “manifestation” culture — I’ve had to unlearn a lot of that kind of rigidity. I especially worked to stop treating every thought or behavior I had like a “problem to be deconstructed.” (Really related to your chocolate bar anecdote, Kier)
I’ve learned a lot about how to spot dogma in my own thinking and that of others — definitely a muscle that gets stronger the more you practice. Staying curious, consciously thinking critically, and determining what my values are has helped me stay grounded in myself when choosing who/what to engage with. I feel so much more in tune with my own intuition…pretty beautiful how that seems to be a pattern for a lot of people.
Grateful for all of your words <3
I'm not even sure how to discern if I'm fully left it? I guess that might be a good question for myself and I'm curious for others. How do you've noticed whether or not you've left that? Subculture. I certainly notice it's still around me. I notice I'm not nearly as hyper vigilant about the things I say or do (which makes me feel like I must be out of it right?? 😂). I'm able to be so much more authentic in my friends and relationships. I've added old friends and family who I strongly disagree with about things back onto my Facebook and don't feel the inclination to argue with their postings or engage in internet oppositional arguments. I consider myself still surrounded by and maybe even in the cukture, especially since it is SO heavily present in the work that I do (therapy) and I've strives to quit self censoring so much, I've posted things I suspect people might have strong reactions to and I've attempted to let my anxiety just run it's course. I remember that the people who want to maintain contact with me despite disagreements or different views or my criticisms of toxic social Justice culture, that they will continue to engage with me. What would I say to someone who is still mired in in this obsessive rumination and self punishment....I'd probably be curious about it rather than say anything. I'd ask what's working for them about being in it? What purpose it serves in their life? What would it mean to not be in this world of toxic SJ and what would it mean or do to let go of the self punishment...
I've also been able to just show up as me in all my complexities. As someone who is biracial and consistently walking this really stark racial binary in Portland, especially as is race is particularly a sensitive topic, I've felt sooopoo restricted into how I'm suppose to behave and who I'm supposed to have alliance with and like Ada said, soooo many scripts I've been using to inform literally all of my interactions. My personal therapist actually told me recently that she notices how paranoid I've become about being cancelled and how I'm so preemptive in my social interactions and I think part of that is that social Justice subculture had made it impossible to just be a human and make a mistake, or to even be human. In a way I feel like I lost my humanity, and my joy and my ability to just laugh at shit. I was and still am soooo careful, it feels hard to navigate social settings sometimes, but slowly I'm becoming much free-er 😁
I've really enjoyed your work. Big fan. Appreciate it especially as living in Portland, I became sooooo immersed in this and finally out of grad school thanks to people like you, Seerut, Africa, Clementine, Cancelled Counselors Instagram, I've been able to shift away from this world and have felt much more at peace in some ways. Bravery to be authentic is isolating at times so been important to find my people
I've let go of so many scripts, large and small: scripts for what a relationship looks like, scripts for what it means to be a person, scripts for how to work, scripts for what to say, scripts for what to read or think or how to spend my precious god-given time on earth. I started dating men after 20 years identifying as a dyke. I started to recognize and rely more on my own internal cues for joy, play, passion, anger, confusion, boundaries, and ultimately, what the right path forward is for me. I am calmer and more open to just winging it now. I find living in contradiction easier. Life is harder in some ways when you swim out past the breakers of black and white thinking—of dogma—but that's only another way of saying, I'm really actually LIVING!
For myself, I’ve become more relaxed, sillier, easier to get along with and much more curious. I have hobbies and routines that I enjoy (and more on the way: rugmaking TikTok is coming for me.) I feel freer to connect with people and I also trust my gut when it comes to deciding to steer clear of someone, without being unwilling to change my mind. I no longer have a word cop in my head, obsessively reviewing everything that comes out of my mouth. I’ve dealt with awkward misunderstandings and even really serious miscommunications with a very appropriate amount of spiraling out (brief and not extraordinarily cruel).
I am less rigid: I no longer depend on systems—whether esoteric like astrology or therapeutic like attachment styles—to try and categorize my interactions with other humans. Instead, I try to really hear what the heck they’re telling me and ask the questions I need to in order to get to the bottom of things. I’m finding that being overly analytical of myself or others feels too much like surveillance, so I’m letting myself just have feelings and say things and do stuff, and I’m only making connections to my past when that feels absolutely necessary. Did I eat that chocolate bar out of a childhood lack of what-have-you or because I was bored and it tasted good? More and more, the latter option feels true, and such simplicity is a tremendous relief.
It’s not all rainbows—I have fears that I have quietly lost the trust or love of friends who remain in the subculture, or that I may miss out on opportunities by opting out of voluntary self-ID forms or by being honest about my intentions in applications. But the freedom I feel, to express myself as I wish and to bring this out in the people around me, is absolutely priceless and does not leave room for regret.