This really hit home--I've watched cherished online communities get torn apart with recriminations which no apology however sincere or abject could satisfy. The sheer speed at which relationships which had lasted years could collapse--the way people could have their entire value as a human being seemingly judged on the basis of a single comment that they didn't understand might cause offense; or to be reviled as worthless or evil for trying to repair relationships or turn down the heat and rebuild the community. It was astonishing how much pain people were willing to inflict in their pursuit of righteous justice--humiliating others and causing real psychological damage to people who had been their friends. Most of my friends from those days refuse to talk about it because they fear it will fuel bad-faith right-wing narratives. I am so grateful for your courage and honesty in exploring why otherwise good people were willing to inflict so much pain, and how much this behavior can limit our pursuit of true justice and healthy communities and movements that can build authentic power for those who most need it.
Thanks for writing this piece. It’s something I wouldn’t have had the courage to write. It is horribly disillusioning and isolating to experience this happening and to see the people around you who once were compassionate and intelligent friends all agree that you must be a horrible person for the slightest questioning of orthodoxy will quickly silence the bravest and most earnest souls. Respect, Kier.
Big Love, Kier. I remember living those days, too, and am so muchly thankful there are meaningful ways to build up what is good in each other, and gentle ways of guiding us back to our best selves.
You're doing good work, and it is an honor to be your friend
Wow. I'm appreciating the clarity with which you described this experience! So much of this is exactly like what I went through.
This really hit home--I've watched cherished online communities get torn apart with recriminations which no apology however sincere or abject could satisfy. The sheer speed at which relationships which had lasted years could collapse--the way people could have their entire value as a human being seemingly judged on the basis of a single comment that they didn't understand might cause offense; or to be reviled as worthless or evil for trying to repair relationships or turn down the heat and rebuild the community. It was astonishing how much pain people were willing to inflict in their pursuit of righteous justice--humiliating others and causing real psychological damage to people who had been their friends. Most of my friends from those days refuse to talk about it because they fear it will fuel bad-faith right-wing narratives. I am so grateful for your courage and honesty in exploring why otherwise good people were willing to inflict so much pain, and how much this behavior can limit our pursuit of true justice and healthy communities and movements that can build authentic power for those who most need it.
Impressive. I wish you the best. I think you will make a difference. Let your light shine.
What you're writing is important. It feels like the tide is turning on this phenomenon.
Thanks for writing this piece. It’s something I wouldn’t have had the courage to write. It is horribly disillusioning and isolating to experience this happening and to see the people around you who once were compassionate and intelligent friends all agree that you must be a horrible person for the slightest questioning of orthodoxy will quickly silence the bravest and most earnest souls. Respect, Kier.
This is fascinating.
Thanks so much for writing this Kier, it really resonated for me.
Big Love, Kier. I remember living those days, too, and am so muchly thankful there are meaningful ways to build up what is good in each other, and gentle ways of guiding us back to our best selves.
You're doing good work, and it is an honor to be your friend
Keep going!